Quistis on a drunken rampage around garden!
by SexyQuistis
Summary: Quistis gets drunk and the males in garden are in for a surprise. please r+r (sorry 4 the bad spelling) this is my first fanfic so tell me if i should carry on with this story


# Quistis on a drunken rampage around garden

## 

## 

## 

## 

## **MISSION IMOSSPIBLE**

Quistis was alone in her dorm when she decided that she needed a drink.

She opened her drawer and pulled out a black hat, jumper and trousers, and then started to change.

In Cid and Edea's room, Cid was setting up a high security system in his front room to protect his drinks cabinet.

Edea: Cid, darling why are you putting alarms on your drinks cabinet?

Cid: somebody keeps stealing my alcohol and it's going beyond a joke!

Cid hit a switch and lazar beams came out of the walls surrounding the drinks cabinet

Cid: hahahaha, I wanna see somebody try and get past this, the latest in home protection (laughing evilly)

Edea: lets just go to bed and forget about this.

Later that evening Quitis made her entrance, she hung from the ceiling lowering herself until she reached the drinks cabinet just above the lazar beams.

Quistis: if he paid me better I wouldn't be doing this! Bastard!

She looked on at the chains that covered the cabinet and the many padlocks.

Quistis: are they meant to stop me hahahaha

Quistis pushed the top of the drinks cabinet off without a problem

Quistis: what shall I have this week hmmmmmm I fancy some vodka.

DRINKING THE EVIDENCE

Quistis began the dirty work of getting pissed within 15 minutes the bottle was finished.

Quistis: I do believe that was my fastest consumption time yet!

Staggering to her wardrobe she some how managed to get herself changed in to the sexist dress in her wardrobe, a short silk dress.

Quistis staggered down the corridor to Irvine's room where he was innocently watching television.

Quistis jumped on top of Irvine who was lying on his bed.

Quistis: hi Irvy wanna good time baby! (In a sexy voice)

Irvine was shocked; as he knew this was very unlike Quistis but of course he wasn't bothered this was Quistis Trepe the women of every mans dreams in garden.

Irvine: it's not everyday I get an offer like that from such a beautiful women such as yourself

Quistis began ripping open Irvine's shirt

Irvine: stop I really shouldn't do this I love Selphie

Quistis: Irvine shut up your wasting time!

Irvine began to struggle but couldn't break lose from the drunken Instructor's gripe. 

Irvine: HELP!! PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP!!!

Next-door Selphie was brushing Zell's hair ignoring the screams from next door.

Selphie: I was thinking I could maybe give you a different dye it red or 

Something

Zell jumped up and moved away from Selphie and her hairbrush.

Zell: keep away from my hair!

Irvine: HELP! I'm being raped by a drunken sex crazed Quistis

Zell and Selphie heard this and started laughing

Zell: yeah very funny Irvine like Quistis would do that

Selphie: maybe we should just make sure he sounded pretty scared

Zell and Selphie walked next door to find Irvine tied to the bed naked and Quistis staggering around the room 

Irvine: don't just stand their god dammit get this out of control bitch away from me

Selphie: Quistis what the hell are you playing at!

Quistis picked up what she believed was Irvine's gun

Quistis: shut the fuck up! And don't move!

Zell: er Quistis that's not a gun I dunno what it is but it ain't a gun

Zell passed Quistis the gun 

Zell: remember when your not using the gun always have the safety hatch on

Irvine: Zell you dick head why'd did ya pass bitch the gun for!

Zell: what it's only Quistis? 

Selphie kicked Zell in the stomach

Zell: ohhh, what did ya do that for!?

Selphie: Quistis has tied Irvine to the bed; she threatens to kill us and you 

Pass her the bloody GUN!!

Zell: oh shit

Quistis held the gun at there heads as she tired to stand still

Quitis: go no good SeeD arses on the fucking floor!

Selphie and Zell knelt on the floor. Zell began taking his shoelace out of his boots.

Selphie: what the hell are you doing?

Zell: I got a cool idea; tie my shoelace on the bed across to the door Quistis 

Trips over it and we get here sorry little ass!

Irvine: somebody help! She gonna rape me!.Hmmmmm, actually forget that

Quistis was sitting on top of Irvine, while Zell was sorting out his idea with the shoelace. Selphie jumped up.

Selphie: get your tartish hands off my man you drunken cow!

Selphie was now beyond mad and she threw a punch at Quistis, Quistis laughed and simply pushed the petit girl out of the way.

Zell: yo Sefie you alright?

The dorm door flew open and Rinoa came running in

Zell: Rinoa no! don't the rop….

Rinoa tripped over the rope and landed on top of Quistis

Rinoa: what the hell?

Quistis: Ms Heartilly how nice of you to join us (laughing evilly)

Rinoa stood up and smiled at Quistis happily 

Rinoa: guess what! Today Squall and I our celebrating our 5 week 

Anniversary!

Jealousy showed in Quistis eyes she wasn't impressed that Rinoa spoiled her chance with Squall and now she was interrupting her plan to rape all the males in Garden not that they would mind though.

Rinoa: isn't it great 5 weeks I'm so happy 

Quistis began to turn red with anger and removed herself from Irvine

Rinoa: your starting to turn a funny colour are you alright?

By now it was too much for Quistis too take she clinched her fist and smacked Rinoa right in the mouth and her lip started to bleed. Rinoa was no match for the tall SeeD.

Rinoa: you bitch why'd ya do that?

Quistis laughed and moved next to the door ready to make her exit

Quistis: I'm done here now for my next target Squall Leonhart

Quistis ran out of the door leaving the Selphie and Zell on the floor Rinoa running around the room like a headless chicken and Irvine tied naked to the bed.

Rinoa: help my lips I'm gonna bleed to death some one help 

Everyone was ignoring Rinoa's pleads and where un-tieing Irvine.

Selphie: it looks like she plans to rape all the men in garden, and Squall's her 

Next target!

Irvine was now un-tied and was putting on his hat, Rinoa had calm down as was wondering why Quistis had just attacked her

Rinoa: what's with Quistis wrong time of the month or something?

Zell: she's drunk and going on a rampage around garden

Rinoa looked shocked and lifted up her short blue skirt revealing a metal pad locked pair of knickers.

Rinoa: she ain't ever gonna get me only Squall has the key to these!

The group looked on at Rinoa weirdly 

Zell: why'd Quistis want to rape you? She only wants to rape men and besides we don't wanna know about yours and Squall's bedroom antics!

Irvine: I dunno sounds quite kinky 

Selphie kicks Irvine in the leg

Irvine: ohhhhh, Sorrrrrry Sefie baby!

Selphie: yeah, any way we betta stop Quistis before it's too late. For the good of the garden male population! it's down to us to stop the drunken tart before she reaches her goal!!

Irvine: Selphie what the hell are ya goin on about, so she's gonna go aroundfucking every male in garden I don't see no harm in that, let's face it nearly every male in garden fancies her.

Selphie: have you finished yet?

Irvine: yes

Selphie: let's go and kick some Quisty butt!

Rinoa: why what has she done? (puzzled)

They all looked at her thinking how thick she is

Zell: is she for real?

Selphie: just shut up and follow or we're be here all night trying to explain 

Selphie and the others left the room in search of Quistis. They entered the corridor and searched the rest of garden

Zell: where'd ya reckon she could be?

Selphie: well she's after Squall right?, so I reckon we should try Squall's room

The group where ever so glad that Selphie was smart.

They continued walking down the corridors Rinoa walking behind them still puzzled 

Rinoa: so like I finally get it, Rinoa's gonna rape my boyfriend?

Irvine: yup, that's about right

Rinoa: oh right

It took another few minutes before it registered into her head that Quistis was gonna rape Squall

Rinoa: quick my Squall needs help!!!

She ran down the corridor the others followed.

Rinoa entered Squall's dorm to find him tied to his bed and the others soon followed her in

Rinoa: are you okay?

Squall: you should ask Quistis the same thing! Look what she's done she's 

She's out of control

Selphie un-tied Squall, and Squall changed

Squall: erm, Irvine why are you naked?

Irvine looked down and realised he never got dressed the others started to laugh

Irvine: er, I guess I never got time to change

Zell: where'd Quistis go? 

Squall: dunno she left about 5 minutes ago though

Irvine started laughing as he realised it didn't take Quistis very long to do it with Squall.

Selphie: what are ya laughing about?

Irvine: it must have took all of 5 minutes to rape you Squall, you don't last long 

In the bedroom department do ya! (laughing)

Rinoa looked confused

Rinoa: I don't get it Irvine say it again

The group looked on that Rinoa's stupidity

Squall: hahaha very funny! Why don't you ask somebody that knows like Rinoa

Zell: Irvine don't or we're be here all day

Rinoa was still confused 

Irvine: Rinoa when you and Squall have sex how long does it last

Irvine said it slowly and clearly so Rinoa could understand

Rinoa: well first we….

Zell: we don't wanna hear what ya do just for how long!

Irvine: you tell us what you want 

Selphie kicked Irvine in the shine 

Selphie: Irvine your such a perv!!

Rinoa ignored this and carried on thinking for the next 15 minutes. The others where all laying on the bed 

Rinoa started to speak and they all jumped up

Zell: well?

Irvine: yeah come on!

Rinoa: I really can't remember

Squall: your telling me we've been sitting hear the last 15 minutes for nothing when there's a sex-crazed maniac on the loose!

Irvine: I've got an idea 

Selphie: I think you should go find Quistis!

Zell: I wanna hear Irvine's idea!

Irvine: it's pretty simple really 

Squall: carry on

Irvine: Squall and Rinoa have sex while we time ya outside

They all looked disgusted at the idea

Selphie: that's a sick idea!

Squall: if it proves Irvine wrong our do it!

Zell: whatever it don't bother me

Irvine: it's not like we're gonna have to wait around very long is it! (laughing)

Squall: that's it, come on Rinoa our show'em!

Selphie and Zell left the room but Irvine stood there and so Zell had to pull him outside

Irvine: I give'em 5 minutes

They waited in the corridor trying to ignore the sounds coming from inside Squall's dorm. Irvine looked at his watch 10 minutes

Irvine: any minute now

5 hours later Selphie and Zell where laying asleep on the floor and Irvine was pacing up and down the corridor.

Squall and Rinoa stepped out, Squall was extremely happy with himself. 

Squall: how about that Irvine! 5 hours!

Rinoa: whys Zell lying naked?

They all looked down at Squall, Zell and Selphie stood

Selphie: god what time is it?

Zell: shit! She got me!

Rinoa: who got ya?

They all ignored Rinoa and where laughing and Zell as he was dressing himself

Selphie: she done that quitely you gotta admire the way she done it

Zell: you wouldn't be saying that if it were you!

Squall: so Irvine 5 hour even you couldn't last that long

Irvine: wanna bet!

Squall: you're on!

Irvine dragged Selphie in to Squall's dorm

Selphie: bloody hell Irvine this is getting out of hand!

An hour later Irvine stepped out ashamed of himself

Irvine: okay you won but only because Selphie had enough!

Selphie punched Irvine in the arm

Selphie: your such a liar! 

They all laughed apart from Irvine who was rather pissed of

Selphie: look we should carry on our search for Quistis she's done 3 as 

That we know about god knows how many are tied naked to beds

Out there

They carried on their journey through garden finding dozens of naked men on their way

Irvine: Quistis must have one hell of a sex drive

Squall: yeah, and I turned her down

Rinoa: what was that Squall?

Squall: damn it she understood!

Squall put his arm around Rinoa's shoulder 

Squall: nothing darling nothing for you to worry about

Selphie: oh please. If we don't find Quistis soon I hate to thinkwhat could 

Happen

Zell: yeah we gotta find her next victim before she gets there then we capture

her

They all stopped to think what she would do next when Rinoa came up with a smart idea, which doesn't happen very often.

Rinoa: CID!

Selphie: what was that Rinoa I could've sworn you used your brain for once

Rinoa: Cid, Cid's gotta be one of the only males she ain't done it with!

Zell: has she had a bang on the head or something?

Squall: now ya mention it she did when we where in the middle of it that's

Why we stopped normally we last about 10 hours

Irvine was in shock at the very thought of this 

Selphie: Rinoa might have a point

Zell: yeah looks like that bang knocked some sense in to her

They all headed to Cid's office and waited for Quistis to show her face. They hid in dark corners of the room 

Squall: Selphie, when Quistis comes in cast sleep on her and we can carry her 

Dorm and lock her in 

Selphie: good idea

An hour later Quistis showed up and Selphie crept up behind her and casted sleep on her

Zell: thank god that's over

Squall: yeah now hopefully coz she was so pissed she won't remember a thing

Selphie: Irvine picks up and carry to her dorm

Irvine swung her over his shoulder and carried her to her dorm and the others followed 

Irvine laid Quistis on her bed; they left her room and locked the door behind them

Rinoa: that should hold her for the night

Rinoa was now clever as a result of the knock she received and everybody was happy.

THE AFTER EFFECT

### The next day Squall and the others opened he door to Quistis's room to find Quistis sitting on her bed.

Quistis: hi guy's I gotta really bad headache

Irvine: I'm surprised that's the only thing aching

Zell elbowed Irvine in the stomach

Quistis: what do you mean by that?

Zell: he doesn't mean anything!

Quistis: and I can't remember a thing from last night what happened?

They looked at each other and wondered what to her

Selphie: you went to bed early with a bad headache that's all

Later that day the six of them where called to the headmasters office 

Cid: this is a very disturbing matter for me so I decided to use the best 

SeeD's in garden, you. 

Squall: we understand how can we all help

Cid: well for the last few Friday's alcoholic substances have been taken from 

My drinks cabinet

They all looked at each other as it registered that it was probably Quistis behind this

Selphie: why don't you stay up on Friday night and then you can capture 

Them

Cid: it's Friday night I can't stay up on Friday night!

Irvine looked at him slightly puzzled

Irvine: why?

Cid: it's the night me and Edea ya know

Zell: oh right

Cid: so every Friday you take guard, they must be caught!

Irvine: once a week? You don't get a lot do ya sir

Cid: how dare you speak about my wife in that way!

Irvine: sorry I was just saying

THE LASTEST REVALATION

7 weeks later Quistis was sitting on Selphie's bed she had something to tell the other 5

Quistis: the thing is I'm pregnant and I don't know how as I haven't done it in other a year

The five looked at each other, as they knew what has happened 

Quistis: and I was wondering what was going on

They all sat in silence

Quistis: I'm gonna be sick

She ran out to the toilet and it gave the others time to talk

Zell: shit!

Rinoa: any man in garden could be the father what do we do?

Squall: we gotta tell her the truth

Selphie: your right

Irvine: I could be the father?

Zell: or me

Squall: me too

Selphie: it's decided we tell her the truth!


End file.
